Posted: Friday July 4th, 2003. 4:45pm
Independence Day©: Rise
of The CYBER™
Ok. Having said that, we'll speak no
more of how a frustrated alcoholic (JON HELLER) with a self-help
board that we made fun of complained to my previous host,
ipowerweb.com, and got hitchWORLD© yanked off of the internet back
in February. It happened. It was WRONG. I paid for a 2 year hosting
deal and got FUCKED 2 months into it. That's kewl... I'm
kewl... hitchWORLD© is kewl, and I am FUCKING proud of you. as
ALWAYS. Every FUCKING one of you.
So, doesn't it seem just... OH, last
FUCKING September that we were taken off the net, only to come back
in December? Is hitchWORLD© some fucking joke of an epitaph
the goes: RIP...12-15-00 to 9-24-02, AND THEN.... 12-15-02 to
2-28-03, AND THEN... 7-4-03 to...... ?
Why do I feel like the dude that
cheated on his chick, and found his fucking clothes and Van Halen
cd's on the front lawn... TWICE... and still didn't learn his
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
uh u huh uhuh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uhuh uh uh uh
Well, getting walking papers from the
the domicile THRICE is the California mandate for a repeat offender,
totally incorrigible, as they say. Three strikes, I'm.... just
No. I'm just doing the hitch©
alphaMALE™ thing that my genetics will not allow me to get past.
Like that BLACK DAY in October '87 when the market crashed, I, like
the S.E.C. have placed fire alarms in the mix of hitchWORLD© to
prevent such a one day dive in stock. The market shall CLOSE EARLY
before it crashes.
No more dudes diving out 120 story
windows after having lost the "nest egg™". I promise. I'm no moron.
I learn from my mistakes. "IF I MAKE THEM, I'LL SOLVE THEM" - Sammy
I guess that the most disappointing
thing to me is the idea that... well, you hear about ALL this bad
shit happening on the net. Serial killing pedophiles instant
messaging with 12 year old boys and fucking/killing them (not
necessarily in that order), e-bay offshore EuroTRASH™ dudes named
"Sven from Sveden™" who come here and refuse to celebrate our
"American" holiday and take old people for their life savings... all
the way down to stay at home day traders who lose everything ONLY to
come back to wealth at the "stay at home GET RICH" schemes of
earning the $100 a day from an ad they saw on a flyer posted on the
crosswalk that says "earn money from home on the internet" by
sending out SPAM email that litters my hotMAIL® inbox.
Meanwhile, I try to have a site that
entertains, makes you feel good about yourself, and promotes
humanity- all at NO COST® to you- and I get shafted to the tune of a
couple of C notes for my effort??
...AND all because some FUCKING
self-righteous assholes that "didn't like me" were pissed off by
some dude that tweaked their DISEASE® and talked about it here??. I
think that's funny as shit. I personally subscribe to the "Dennis
Miller" school of thought on this:
Now, I think Alcoholism is a disease. It's a GREAT
fucking disease. If you gotta get a disease, you should slap your
knees and pray to God that you get Alcoholism. 'Cause even when you
have a relapse, it's kind of fun. "What's up with you, Skeeter? You
look so happy…"
"Yeah man, I got my DISEASE again!!! I'm
riddled with it, brother! I'm gonna heal up tomorrow... You
wanna do some therapeutic jello shots with me ?"
People ask me, "Hey man, are
you pissed that Riddler® got your site taken out?". FUCK NO. And
I'll tell him to do it AGAIN and AGAIN because that guy is the
funniest and most talented motherfucker I've seen. He outdoes me,
time and time again. Hop on over to RiddlerLAND®, drop some coinage
into the SALVATION davidLEEroth ARMY® and cry me a motherfucking
On July 4, 1776, my American founding
fathers signed a document that I like to call "The Declaration Of
Independence". Well, thank you, number two, "I wrote that."
What's it all about? Seems to me,
that it's about ME. It always was. Always WILL BE. These fucking
dudes, back in the day... had the fucking FORESKIN™ to predict
hitchWORLD©. What is America? America is DEAD. hitchWORLD© is bigger
than America, and I'll gladly take the Lennon-like backlash for that
And what's the recipe for that? I
think it calls for a case or two of Budweiser®, 30 fucking Vicodin™,
some Xanax© prescribed from Dr. Feelgood™, and a fucking pound of
weed. Also, dope up with VALOR® oil on your wrists. 'Cause ya gotta
And so hitch1969 is of the EARTH™ and
whatnot. Other dudes, like Heller, have their own issues and such.
Obviously they cannot combat them with the various chemicals that
get us through the day, and, for lack of the appropriate word, THAT
Maybe that's why they are SO UPTIGHT.
Perhaps it's their LIBERALISTIC "group meet" mentality that
precludes them from the KICK IN THE BALLS© world that I personally
live in. They get together every week anonymously to have other FUCK
UPS validate the fact that THEY ARE NOT FUCKED UP!!! :) It makes
them "feel good" just like "Dr. Feelgood" or the clerk at the liquor
store used to. Personal responsibility and accountability never
entered their henBRAINs©.
I think I liked them better when they
Anyway, site's back up, The CIRCLE of
TRUST is bigger and better than ever. Ok it still sucks dick. OH MAN
I AM SOOO STOKED!!!! Come on in and post or just read the discussion
forums... 361 hitchWORLD© members CAN'T be wrong: